Good girls go to Heaven, Bad girls go to Amsterdam.

July 7, 2006

I sure hope jetlag is a medically-recognized diagnosis because it can cause you to do some goofy (a tribute to Pap) things. I’ve been at work all day but have to get anything done but type some unclear emails and post my Europe pictures.

Europe was great but I don’t really feel the urge to return. A friend and I went to Amsterdam and Paris. They’re both must-sees that I can check off my list but on the surface, they’re not much different from NYC. Both cities were extremely overpriced and commercial. 

Their clothing style is very similar to our’s but they handle it differently. French women are very well put together while Dutch women are beautiful, but sloppy. They really could use some lessons on appropriate foundation garments. Too many visual bra straps. And the men are beyond metro-sexual. I’m not asking for a meathead still wearing his high school football champ shirt but I need to know that my man didn’t go shopping in my closet.

So all in all, it was a great time and I got lots of great pictures but the next vacation I go on better include a cruise ship, margaritas and hot cabana boys. Thank you again sister for understanding and coming to my rescue.


Ex-men drama

June 9, 2006

I knew that was Karma was a bitch, but I didn't know she could work so quickly. My ex called to me he got fired from his job yesterday!! I do feel really bad (I'm not a machine) but there is a little part of me that wants to gloat because all those same things he's feeling, I felt when he broke it off with me. The boss said his something about "his heart not being in the same place as when he got there." Shocking. He moved across the country with a fiance, broke it off a few months later, got re-engaged to a co-worker two months then un-engaged 10 days later and now they don't know what they're doing. It's so crazy, it makes my head spin so I can only imagine what his viewers think. And his bosses were never in favor of them being engaged in the first place.

The story gets even icier when I found out that his on-again-off-again-new-fiance-after-two-months walked off the job when she found out!! Oh sweetie, how stupid ye are. I'll call her Band-Aid because that's exactly what she is. Band-Aid is just there to cover up the wounds and help take his mind off this gem of a woman he left. He still tells me that he misses me, that he's still healing and grieving and that he wishes this never would've happened. I'm sure he'll move back to Vegas so he can re-group and get his life back in order but I hope this girl is dumb enough to follow him and he's not weak enough to let her go with him.

All I have to say is "Dibs on the couch!!"

Day 35–She works hard for the money

March 28, 2006

So I met mom and grandma. I don't know what happens when you reach the silver years but apparently you just don't care anymore and don't understand why you should pay for things if they can fit in your purse. In the middle of a very quiet theatre all you can hear is his grandma passing a crusty old plastic bag full of cookies around. She even somehow managed to stuff a few cans of soda in there in case one of us was thirsty. She's a hoot! His mom is nice enough but I'm sensing a little bit of conservatism in her. Plus, as she was telling me childhood tidbits about Mr. Right Now, she refers to him as "my baby boy." Oh no.

Mr. Right Now is doing a very good job of trying to sweep me off my feet. I keep quizzing him about the hard topics like politics and religion and they're just bouncing off him. I of course keep hoping to find a dealbreaker in there somewhere. He's got all the right answers so far. I'm still being snooty about the construction job thing, but I guess as long as he makes good money that's all that matters. Mom says she just pretends her good husband doesn't work at Wal-mart, the evil christian empire. It's not like I could or would ever meet a trust-fund guy anyways. I've heard the stories but I've never met of those kind out.

Day 12 Date Night

March 8, 2006

I’ve got one word for the dating scene…exhausting. After getting a very uncomfortabel “birds and bees” talk from my gyno, I thought I was prepared for getting back out on the market. It’s tough. I met a cutie on Day 8 whom drunk girl thought it’d be a good idea to make out with at a very populated bar. Did I say he was a hottie? Sober girl was mortified the next morning and vowed to control herself from now on. Even sober girl has lost her mine dating two men simultaneously. I’m not proud of myself but I figure I’m not doing anything men don’t do so I’m just going to date like a man and be sure to have a spare tire available for emergencies.

Day 12 was quite a busy one on Stella’s phone. I bowled with friends that afternoon while making plans with the hottie and the musician my friend thinks could be a good match. The hottie invites me to his sister’s house that evening; the musician invites me for an outdoor brunch and hike for Day 17. Meeting the family on the first night?!! She’s the younger sister so I figured it be okay. Did I mention he’s also a hottie? The funniest part of the evening was when my roommate’s husband saw me put scissors in my purse for protection. He was sincerely frightened for me and even called to check in later. But what about this for coincidental? The hottie’s birthday…the same EXACT day as the ex. At least I could never forget it but I’m done with Pisces men.

It’s Day 7 and Stella has got her groove back

March 1, 2006

So I know I said I didn’t feel an instant spark with the set-up, but he’s interested in going out. I told my girlfriend to be sure and relay to him that I’m totally down but just know that I think it’s going to be of an “informational session” rather than a first date. I wasn’t instantly attracted to him but perhaps that’s a good thing because look where it’s got me. Plus his mom divorced his dad after having 4 boys and has been dating a woman so how bad can he be? It’ll be great to date a raging liberal for once.

Day 6

February 28, 2006

It’s day 6 and I’m already being set up by friends and I’m not sure what to think about it. But it’s one of those things where someone asks you out and then makes up an excuse about why they’ve just invited someone else. So I go to lunch with my new best friend that has been absolutely terrific throughout my breakup and she brings along a friend of hers. I figured it can’t hurt, right? And I’ve always heard that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Nice guy and absolutely hilarious but I didn’t feel the spark. You gotta feel the spark.

So another girlfriend called and told me about these hilarious new cards for all sorts of occassions at They’re a riot!! There are cards for breakups, divorces, nose jobs, lesbian weddings, and a whole host of others. I have to have them.

Tonight I’m going to be busy trying to locate my hair products because there is no way that I’ll be able to go one more day without washing my hair properly. I tried to do at my nana’s this weekend but everything is just all wrong there and you end up looking worse no matter your effort. I also need to shave…badly. Especially since a girl is newly single.

Day 5

February 27, 2006

Day 5 is a rough one. Days 1 through 4 of a major breakup are full of what I like to call “survival challenges.” Those days are so full of activities that must be completed quickly that there’s no time to rest and write so I apologize that this entry is minus the juicy breakup details. The first few days after having your heart crushed are all about packing, moving, and erasing all the memories of him from every part of your life. I left out the biggest part…repeating the story for what seems like a hundred times to all your friends and family. But of course it’s during those days that your friends want to tell how much they didn’t care for the guy. Where were you like 3 years ago?!! On day 5, once everyone knows the story, the gravity of the situation sets in. You begin to realize why dogs were put on this earth. Day 5 is a lonely one. You don’t know where you packed your shoes or what you’re going to eat for dinner. You start thinking about what went wrong and what you could’ve done to prevent the breakup from happening. Personally, I don’t think I could’ve done anything short of becoming a born-again Christian, stay-at-home mom who likes to surf, play guitar, swim and listen to Jimmy Buffett. So during day 5, I’m going to concentrate on myself and resist the urge to think about what he’s doing. Because I know that while I’m at home cuddling with my dog, he’s running the streets like a dog in heat. Wish me strength.

Just like me.

February 27, 2006

I changed the page theme of my blog to “white as milk” simply because I had to. I’ve heard that about my skin forever and right now I could use a dose of whatever it is that guarantees a pick-me-up.

Hello world!

February 15, 2006

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